Day 8 ~ The Imperfect Wife Striving to Be Virtuous

Oh, I fail so miserably at being a wife. Days get long, I tire of folding his underwear and making him dinner every night. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to fold my kids clothes or make them dinner either. I think it's ok to admit on occasion that we'd just like "calgon to take me away" or a escape to a remote cottage by the ocean with reservations for one (I can't be the only one with this fantasy), but we must remember that along with the overwhelming responsibilities as a wife and mother are also many blessings and rewards. I also need to remember that I have been commanded to be obedient to GOD and in being obedient I must learn to serve my family.

God tells us in Colossians 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1 AND in Ephesians 5:22, "Wives submit to your husbands". There are no clauses found in these verses such as, "if your husband is kind to you, submit" or "if your husband works hard and provides for the family then you must submit". No, it just says to submit. Submit regardless of your feelings, regardless of your tiredness, regardless if husband isn't "bringing home the bacon", regardless if your husband is obeying his commandment to love you (Eph. 5:25). Always submit, whether you feel like it or not.  {{Unless of course your husband is being physically abusive to you or your children. If this is the case, leave your husband and find help!}}

Not only are we to submit, but we are also to keep our attitude and character in check. 1 Timothy 3:11 says, regarding the wives of deacons, "Their wives also must be of good character and must not gossip; they must be sober and honest in everything." I think it's safe to say that even though I may not be a deacon's wife, God would want me to live by these same standards. 

So I need to ask myself, Am I a gossip? Do I air my frustrations of being a wife/mother/cook/taxi/launder/maid/nurse/provider for all to hear? If so, it's time to rein in my loose lips. My family, and especially my husband, deserve my reverence. My husband needs to have confidence that I am guard my words and am slow to speak. Does the heart of my husband trust me?

The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil  all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12 

Here are a few more verses I found ~

Be virtuous (morally excellent).

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.

Be of noble character (dictionary.com says that noble is of "an exalted moral or mental character or excellence").

Proverbs 12:4 An wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

Be prudent (wise). Do NOT be contentious (argumentative). 

Proverbs 19:13-14 A foolish son is the ruin of his father, And the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping. Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.

Proverbs 21:9 Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.

Proverbs 21:19 Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman.

Be affectionate. Be of one body.

 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Be respectful.

Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Be wise. 

Proverbs 9:13 A foolish woman is clamorous; She is simple, and knows nothing.Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.

Be gracious (from dictionary.com ~ pleasantly kind, courteous, merciful, compassionate).

Proverbs 11:16 A gracious woman retains honor, But ruthless men retain riches.

Be discreet.

Proverbs 11:22 As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.

Fear the Lord.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

As I mentioned previously, I often fail at being a godly wife. However, because I have an awesome God whom I desire to serve, I continue to strive to be the wife that God desires me to be. I know that when I follow His commandments my relationship with my husband is strengthened. My shortcomings lessen when I allow God to change me and when this happens I can see the many blessings. The more I serve God and the more I serve my husband, the more joy I experience. 

I am so thankful for the patience of my husband and of my heavenly Father as I struggle to become a woman and a wife that He desires me to be.