Monday, December 19, 2011

Mid-Life Crisis

The big 4-0 was really no biggie for me. In fact I welcomed it as a passage, a new stage of life. When I turned 41 it bothered me a little. Since I can never remember my age, when asked how old I was I'd respond with a shrug and a "I don't know...I'm "OVER 40". The sound of it made me cringe. With my birthday fast approaching, I've been filled with anxiety. The difference between 40 and 42? I'm feelin' it. I am tired, my body aches and the impending doom of menopause has me shaking in my tennis shoes. The past couple of weeks I have been making a mental list of the changes that I want to make in my 42nd year. Maybe if I share my list I will feel a little more accountable. Then again, maybe I won't. But I'll share anyway.

  • Eat less, move more.
  • Less sugar, more real food.
  • Go to bed earlier (I know, that thought makes me SOUND old but I know that it will help me FEEL young).

  • Spend less, save more. I ain't gettin' any younger and my years of waitressing and self-employment have done nothing for the retirement fund.
  • Pay off credit card debt. Most of this debt occurred when I first began my daycare business. I was a single mom with a house payment so groceries would get paid with the credit card. I shake my head in shame at the thought that I am still paying off the gallon of milk I bought in 2006.

EMOTIONAL HEALTH ~ this category and list may seem disconnected but I believe getting this list in order will give me peace of mind.
  • Cleaning out the excess stuff in my home and getting organized! My laundry room/craft room/extra kitchen storage room/everything room needs help. I thought about posting a picture but I'm too embarrassed. The rest of my house isn't "out of control" but that room alone could be seen on hoarders...ok, maybe it's not that bad. Or maybe it is. I don't know but regardless it needs to be cleaned out and organized.
  • Hobbies. I want them. Knitting, chickens, and bees. And a bigger garden. More soap and lotion making. Which is why I need to work on the physical health part. After a 10-12 hours work day with homeschooling squeezed in, I am too tired for the things I want to do. I justify my wants because I believe my hobbies contribute to the family. Everyone needs socks, eggs and honey.....right?
As I look over my list I'm feeling a little tired. I think I'll go pour myself a cup a coffee and eat a cookie. After all, I only have two more days of being 41.

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